Photos by Maria Killam
Last summer my sister Anita and her family got selected to star on a show called the Family Cook-off on the Food Network. This was the setting that day at Granville Island. It just aired on Friday night so now I’m allowed to post about it.
Luukas (my nephew) and Anita (my sister)
My sister and I have not been getting along well lately (something happened). And last weekend I was in a course with Landmark Education called Direct Access. One of the things the forum leader said was “I’m okay with anyone in my life that walks into the door”. And I thought ‘I want to be that person, and actually right now things are not okay with my sister”.
Aaron (her husband) and Jordon (Aaron’s son)
So at one point during the weekend I stood up to express my frustration with her and get some coaching and I said “She brings up stuff that happened between us 20 years ago“, and he said “I promise you, if you had authentically apologized for what you did or said, she would not be talking about it“. That hit me like a ton of bricks because he was right. So I called her to let her know that I would apologize until she got it, for judging her smoking, not sticking to the vegetarian diet that we were raised on and many other things that hurt her back then.
My sister and her son Luukas made vegetarian sloppy joes and Aaron and Jordon made a no-bake cheesecake with strawberries and they won! The prize was $1000 in groceries and a golden frying pan.
On the way to the Design Boggers Conference in LA a few weeks ago, I sat beside a very interesting woman on the plane and we got to talking about sisters and forgiveness and she said “Every time I think I’m not going to forgive someone I think about a story I heard a long time ago. In some parts of China if someone is committed of a crime against you, they get tied up and thrown into a lake. And you choose whether to go after them and untie them, or leave them to drown”.
Such a great metaphor for forgiveness because it’s basically the same thing but the suffering lasts much longer. It interrupts family functions overall, life is not as happy and I really do want to be okay with whoever walks into the door in my life.
My sister is having a big party tonight to celebrate their win and being on the show and now I’m invited, I called her last week and she generously forgave me back!
Have a great weekend everyone! xo Maria
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