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Do you Act When You’re Moved?

By 05/05/2013September 3rd, 201816 Comments

CDECA AGM

This past Friday the Canadian Decorators Association – BC Chapter held our annual general meeting in North Vancouver on a fabulous, hot and sunny day!

I have been a member for months but this is the first time I have been to an event–silly me–now that I live in the country it seems the monthly meeting date never works for me. From now on, that is going to change!

When I met this warm and friendly group of members and colleagues in the design industry I felt so welcome and instantly part of the group! As you know, I don’t feel that way often.

CDECA Meeting

I was one of the speakers, my talk was 7 Rules for Stress Free Colour Consultations. Being able to explain the WHY behind your advice is so important.

CDECA Meeting

Maria Killam, Lyla Veinot and Nancy DeVries 

CDECA Meeting

 Lesley Arnoud, Heddy Bing and Karen Lorena Parker

Lesley Arnoud (above left) was the board member in charge of organizing the AGM, she did such a great job, I was so happy to be there that day!

Ranbir Puar (below) was the last speaker and she was up right after lunch. Everyone was really touched by her presentation.

CDECA Mtg

Maria Killam & Ranbir Puar, The Freedom Exercise

Ranbir’s talk was about freedom & setting goals. Here are my takeaways:

“Only 3% of us write out our goals every day, those 3% have 97% of the income.

You would never construct the house of your dreams without a plan, so how can you possibly do that with your life?

If your clothes don’t fit you get rid of them. But we hang onto behaviours that don’t work for us.

Do you want instant gratification or long-term satisfaction? Instead of saying “I can’t do that”, ask yourself “How can I do it?” or “How can I solve this limiting situation?”.

If you need to figure out a solution to something, take the question to bed with you.

A great mind can be achieved in many ways but first you must establish what your mind chatter is. To do that, write down what you are thinking about as you do the dishes, making dinner, etc.

Trust your gut feelings.”

My big question for her was “So many times, when something bad happens, I go straight to the worst possible scenario in my head, I freak out like ‘the sky is falling'” From a contractor doing something wrong on my house or having technical difficulties with my site (for example), instead of looking at the situation like a mature adult, my reaction is really young.

I have done so many years of personal growth and development work which has been really great in so many ways, for example, this blog would not be as successful as it is without the work that I have done, that is for sure!  But this is one area of my life that I have not mastered and it bothers me a lot. Not to mention totally stressful for people who are close to me.

When I did a little therapy many years ago and the therapist would say “How do you feel about that?” I would say “Can I get a multiple choice list that I can choose from? I have no idea”. I couldn’t even get to that place to FEEL SOMETHING. It’s way easier for me to THINK rather than FEEL. Although I’m just as sensitive as anyone else. Hmmm. . . does this even make sense, I’m not sure.

It’s one of the reason why I attract so many scientist types who attend my workshops! Because I’m the same way! By the way this Wednesday the early bird discount will end for May’s Specify Colour with Confidence Training. Sign up here.

Anyway, after Rambir’s talk on Friday, I spoke with her for some time afterwards and the tears streamed down my face the entire time, it was kind of embarrassing. I instantly booked an appointment to work with her.

Hey, if you find someone who moves you on a deep level, you act!! That’s what I usually do anyway. How about you?

Happy Monday my lovelies! xoxo Maria

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16 Comments

  • Victoria says:

    Divine appointments! You were destined to meet Rambir at this time in your life to help you find your way on the path. So happy that life is like that. And yes, I do the same when I meet someone who moves me. I listen and learn and soak in as much as I possibly can. Isn’t life interesting…and colorful? 🙂

    Hugs!

    Victoria in Texas

  • Linda says:

    Maria, so glad you met Ranbir. I think the old adage “the teacher appears when the student is ready” is so true. Perhaps you are now ready to work on this area of your life. Good luck.

  • Anna says:

    “When I did a little therapy many years ago and the therapist would say “How do you feel about that?” I would say “Can I get a multiple choice list that I can choose from? I have no idea”. I couldn’t even get to that place to FEEL SOMETHING. I it’s way easier for me to THINK rather than FEEL. Although I’m just as sensitive as anyone else. Hmmm. . . does this even make sense, I’m not sure.”

    I’m the exact same way! I like the multiple choice option–I’ll have to use that on my friends or family the next time they ask me how I feel about something/someone. I’m sensitive, intuitive and emotional but I freeze when asked how I feel about something. I’m a Gemini and an INTJ–maybe you are too?

    • Janelle says:

      Ok this is so interesting, Anna. I’m INTJ too and many times I have no idea how I feel. I’ve gotten better at it over time, though. I find that journaling about it helps me to process it and figure put what I’m feeling.

  • Franki says:

    To put it in the “vernacular”…you’ve got to “follow your gut”…that is what it is!! franki

  • Susan says:

    What a wonderful day, Maria! I’ve met people like that in my life…I instantly felt they were put there especially for me and their presence and gifts really made a huge impact on my internal world. That’s how it seems for you with Rambir. I’m sure you will enjoy learning with her so much!

  • tara dillard says:

    Loved learning, finally, that I don’t have to react to people. I can respond.

    Loved learning I can answer a question with, “Let me get back to you.”

    Loved learning I don’t have to answer a question just because someone asked.

    Have learned, “Because it makes me HAPPY.” is
    an excellent response.

    If pushed I can easily say, “Your words are harmful to my spirit.”

    Fear? Learned to ask myself, “What would I do tomorrow if I were not afraid?”

    Don’t force a solution. There’s more of course. My path was marriage to an alcoholic, 30 years. Years of group therapy.

    Thank you for the, ” it’s way easier for me to THINK rather than FEEL.” You put words to how I respond…..

    Garden & Be Well, XO T

  • Victoria says:

    wow what an enlightening post Maria. I needed to read this today so thanks for sharing something this personal.
    Great takeaways.

  • Lyla Veinot says:

    Maria, it was so lovely to meet you on Friday and I’m glad that you have joined our sorority of CDECA design sistas! You fit right in and we are lucky to have you! I so appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to always speak the truth no matter how hard that is.
    I really enjoyed your session and was reminded again how important it is to get those tricky undertones right. I meant to order your book on the weekend & then got busy in my yard & forgot – so thank you for the extra day! I’m going to go order it right now! I look forward to seeing you again at our next event! Lyla

  • Lisa Moon says:

    Great post! If you want a book recommendation, I love anything by Martha Beck, but especially her fabulous, “Finding Your Own North Star”. She talks about feeling vs. thinking, and how we tend to be socialized to stuff down the negative feelings, even though they can often guide us well, if we listen! (I’m not doing the book justice – there’s SO much more!) Anyway, thanks for sharing part of your journey, as always. 🙂

  • SandyCGC says:

    I totally agree, Maria, the teacher comes when the student is ready. You’ve had many and you’ve learned from them. Rambir is the teacher you need now and lo and behold! she’s here. My most significant teacher to date came through my yoga instructor’s intro to our practice one morning – Eckhart Tolle’s (THE POWER OF NOW)
    powerful quote: “Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” I, who had worried and “what if?”-ed and procrastinated all my life, was able on the morning of Oct 9, 2012, teetering on the brink of despair about my future living situation, to say to the cosmos “Plan A got flushed down the toilet. Plan B is on it’s way down now. I don’t have a Plan C.” By the evening of Oct 9, 2012, I did, and six months later, I’m living in my perfect home, still with a lifetime of unlearning to do, but immensely excited about the power of “NOW” in my life. I hope and I’m sure Rambir will be such a force in your life. You must be ready because she’s here. Fantastic good luck!

  • after reading ‘the power of now’ I found E.Tolle’s following book ‘new earth’. this is a book I was meant to read. I never thought I had much of an ego, or what I thought was ego, this book has made me very aware of what an actual ego is. and it’s not very nice. lot’s of self sabotage with inner dialogue that I’m now aware of, and, am trying to change. and, of course, start everything from love. any self doubt is ego talking, and the ego hates being present, because it thrives on ‘past’ and ‘future’ keeping up constantly anxious. and mostly, ego wants control of any given situation.
    I hope you get a chance to check this book out.

  • Ranbir Puar says:

    Thank You Maria! Your willingness to openly share your experience is impressive. I am looking forward to sharing this journey with you.

  • Susan S says:

    Oh, my goodness, Maria! In every post where you’ve mentioned your “nature” or your personality in general, I’ve always been shaking my head in agreement because I”M THE SAME WAY! You think it’s a coincidence that I’m a Gemini too— nah!
    I, too, over-analyze. Thinking(or dissecting), for me, is my way of trying to understand things or why I’m feeling the way I do. Really, it’s my best way of making sense of things. Judging from the responses you’ve received, I’d say that we’re all more alike than not, eh?

    P.S. Because you are “aware”, the battle is half won, so don’t be so hard on yourself.

  • Debbie Bruna says:

    Maria, There must be a lot of Geminis reading your blog. It is very good that you recognize you have something you need to work on and want to change, that must be at least half the battle! Happy Birthday to all of us Geminis.

    I plan on taking pictures for an online consultation with you soon. I have your book and your color samples which have really helped a great deal, but I am still going to seek your professional input.

  • Dimi says:

    It’s the only reason to act! That’s why I read your blog Maria. I love design, I studied it and I can’t practice it. Reading about it in your blog, moves me every time! I can get very passionate about aesthetics you see!!

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