Three things you don’t know about me (but I wish you did)

 

1) I’m kind of a loner.

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If I didn’t have a blog, sometimes I wonder what I would be doing on a January Sunday like today. I don’t have children, but I do hang out with my sisters (often) and my nephews (sometimes).

Growing up I always had one best friend and then another one. When people would say things like “I’m going sailing with a bunch of friends”, I always felt left out and like I was missing a gene in my personality that I didn’t have a ‘bunch of friends’.

I also work better alone than with a team of people.

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Last week when I did this personality test, I learned that I have a ‘Director/Influencer’ personality vs. “Steadiness/Compliant”. And you know where I apparently need to improve? Cooperating more with other people : ) Dang it, but on the other hand it’s also part of why I’m probably a better entrepreneur than employee!

2) What I’m thinking is always right there on my face, obvious to everyone.

Before I was self-employed (thank God) and had jobs–I would try so hard to have everybody like me–but then something would happen that I thought was wrong or I didn’t agree with, and although I would do my best to pretend that everything was fine–there my opinion would be, written all over my face!

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This trait works well for me in my current career however. When clients get to know me and they buy something for their house (without asking my opinion),and then ask me what I think, they can immediately tell how I feel about it (even if I try to pretend–which I mostly don’t, unless I truly feel bad and don’t consider it to be that much of a white elephant).

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3) Lately, I’ve realized that I’m loyal–almost to a fault [but I’m not sure it’s a good thing].

For years I sent all my business to the same drapery workroom. When I would call for help to work out measurements and yardage, the owner would usually respond with a great deal of impatience–cranky that I didn’t know his job as well as he did and couldn’t figure it all out myself (By the way because I am that way, most of my installations go perfectly).

Anyway, I would justify his bad-customer-service-behavior to myself because of the fact that his workroom did perfect work (very important in my business). Then, I just got tired of hanging up feeling like I had been reprimanded by my boss when I was the paying customer!

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I also go to the same mechanic to fix my car because he knows me even though sometimes I feel like I’ve been overcharged. Better to deal with the devil I know than the devil I don’t is how I operate.

I care more about making things right and ‘fairness’ then I do about having everybody like me. I’m very nice and witty and fun to be around until something goes wrong–and then (most of the time) have no problem stepping in and having the ‘uncomfortable conversation’ if necessary to sort things out.

So there it is. Another side of me that you didn’t know!

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Related posts:

What I learned about Design while Decorating for my Mother

10 things I hate/Love/Share about Me

Are you Vain?

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  1. I like your honesty.
    Each of us should be so fortunate to be able to answer these questions in order to reveal more and learn more about ourselves as well as others.
    pve

  2. Funny, how when you're thinking about something, the universe provides the answers–or at least more information! I have literally been thinking about the same kind of things lately–ie your first comment about being a loner…I have a close,small number of friends and we tend to get together sporadically (ie no annual girls weekends,etc!). Reading your post made me think, as one of my friends says- "there is no one right answer". I think often we forget that and think there is something wrong with us if we don't live like a "Friends" episode…Your post was a great start to my week!

  3. Charlotte Poetschner

    Sounds like "drapery dude" couldn't handle the power he thought he had (not conscious thought, I'm sure).

    Probably his habit with clients is too ingrained. He's using his "perfect product" as permission to treat clients in a mean-spirited way. Too bad. We have opportunities to cast light or cast shadow on those who cross our path. Sounds like he was a shadow-caster and I'm glad you decided to let him go.

    Great insights…

    Charlotte

  4. Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions

    Actually, we have a lot in common! I am also more of a loner, but then again, I'm also a homebody. I'm also very loyal, but if I feel wronged you will never regain that loyalty. I don't know that I would have put up with a cranky drapery workroom that I'm sending work to after the second time {I always give everyone one!}.

    It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has these traits.

  5. i just knew i liked you maria, now i clearly see why.

    can relate to all of what you shared especially the loner part. and…it is not such a bad thing, is it?

    thank you for sharing….everything
    xo
    debra

  6. Your openness with your readers is inspiring. I related to much of what you wrote, and ironically, I'm also in the color business. 🙂 Thanks for sharing yourself with the rest of us color-lovers!

  7. Are you a Leo? Cause man oh man that is me to a tee. I always thought the working alone and control stuff was the only child in me. Oh no…see here I am going off about ME! Big pat on the back Maria for your honesty…just don't send those questions my way. My mom would want to chime in with a very long comment!
    xoxo Lisa

  8. OMG Lisa! I'm a Leo too! I didn't think of that link! My mother also would have some long comments and thoughts!…

  9. There's something very heart warming about this post.

    It's a beautiful gift to us. How? By sharing your heart with us you've given us the courage to share ours with yours. It's a beautiful thing.

  10. love the post, Maria! I'm the same way with showing my feelings ALL over my face. I'm trying to work on curbing that though. It's especially bad when I'm feeling frustrated with a client. They shouldn't see that….

  11. Ruthie's Renewed Treasures

    Seems that most of the "creative" type personalities are a slight bit of a loner. When I'm alone that's the time I rejuvinate and get my creative juices flowing. Love to be with people too.

    Loved this post.
    Ruthie

  12. Wow, I thought you were talking about me! I'd also add that it takes us some time to come up w/ truly insightful answers as this is the 2nd time you've come back w/ a more thoughtful answer after a quick 1st response.

    This is my 1st comment after enjoying your blog for about a month now. I'm thinking of starting my own blog so, I really appreciate your recent tips. And, of course, all you great color tips.

  13. Annie @ The House That Jade Built

    We have so much in common! I too wear my thoughts on my face as expressions – it's a bad thing sometimes! I have to think what is my face doing – what is my face doing so I don't completely embarass myself at times! My husband thinks it's hilarious! I too am loyal almost to a fault. Once you are in with me you are in, and no one can mess with you! It may be a big sister thing too 🙂

  14. Lesley @ The Design File

    Thanks for the peek inside your thinking. I also can't hide things. My frustration is always written on my face. I've given up trying to change and now try to just use it to my advantage!

  15. It is wonderful to know yourself and it is refreshing to read about someone who knows who they are. This is what makes Maria's blog so unique to Maria! Have a wonderful week

  16. I am very expressive facially too which I think, leads me to being a loner. People just don't want to see that I hate what they are wearing all of the time..lol.

  17. i laughed out loud about the "open book" comment. I am the same way- if i feel something, it's written ALL over my face, there's just no hiding it.
    just don't ask me to play poker with you.

  18. I really love this post, Maria! It is so you! And I do love your honesty. I am also really starting to follow your advice and become authentic and share myself more. Thank you for being such a great example and an inspiration!

    Love,

    Lea

  19. Interesting. You do seem really well suited to being self-employed. I know what you mean about being a loner. I usually have just one or two friends and that is it. On the other hand I have quality friendships and we are very loyal.

  20. I enjoyed learning more about you. I can definitely relate to the "open book" face. I have the same trait…and it's sometimes a real problem.

    Jane (artfully graced)

  21. Developing Designs

    You truly are an inspiration. Loner, quirks and all, you are admired and loved by all. Your openness is inspiring and MANY more are just like you…..Welcome to the club, we are so glad you joined us 🙂 xo

  22. Enjoyed your post and even read it twice immediately. I think the post is so personal that the second time reading it I thought about what I would say and would I have the courage to be so honest and 'put myself out there.' Thanks again – gives me food for thought for another day.

    Keep up the wonderful posts as I'm one of the "5 percenters' that doesn't write a blog nor am I even in the same business . . though this blog is part of my other interests. – KBN

  23. i've read this post a couple of times and every time i do so, there's something i identify myself with.
    now i feel i have to share something with you and everyone interested in my comment: once someone said to me "oh, you didn't like that" or "oh, you didn't want that" or "oh, you would never leave that" – basically, someone (and many more) criticized me because i changed opinion about who i contracted to do my curtains, or because now i wanted to live in NYC, or because i changed my housekeeper… what i want to say is that it's good and important to change, especially if we are perfectionist. things have to be done properly as we wish, that’s what we paid for. and if we do change it means we're having a mature decision and mature action. to change ideas simply means that we grew up, our behave got refined and we could ONLY be proud of ourselves! things change! no one is born knowing everything and we'll learn until we died. to change is part of our life, it represents maturity, as simple as that!

  24. We are so much alike!
    I definitely lean towards being a loner. I wish I was more outgoing, but ultimately I am more comfortable by myself or with Steve.
    I love that you are so loyal. You've been a great friend to me since we met. I promise not to take advantage of your loyalty!
    As always, thank you for your honesty.

    xo
    Brooke

  25. Sara @ Russet Street Reno

    Maria, I am also a loner. I don't have lots of friends, and the few good ones I have I really word hard to maintain. I'm also a Gemini, and sometimes I think I'm too bossy/opinionated. But, what are you gonna do? It's in the stars, and out of my control! haha

  26. Dagny @ Beautiful Living

    You always have such great posts!! (I'm bossy too… Lol!)

    Thank you so much for the birthday wishes!!

  27. Erin @ The Impatient Gardener

    Well I'm just getting to know you period, so this was even more enlightenment for me.

    How I've missed your blog for so long, I can't imagine, as I've pretty much been obsessed with reading almost all your posts. I think because I'm the most insecure person when it comes to color. I require constant validation of my decisions (which is why I've now even e-mailed you … there should be some kind of therapy for this).

    Anyway, thought I'd let you know that I posted about your blog yesterday just because I don't want anyone else to miss it!

  28. Maria, you are adorable! I also work well on my own mainly because i'm type one and like it done to perfection. Everything is written on my face. I think my friends and family like that about me though.

    Have a great day!

  29. Chic Coles (Cole Design)

    I am the same way regarding #1. I have never been a big "group" friend girl…I always find myself feeling left out. However, I do enjoy blogging and working so I guess thats just a different thing I am good at. Right?

  30. Hi Maria,

    I read all the comments wow 40… all great.

    Gemini's rejoice… we totally think alike 🙂 as much as we are social and love people we do have our idocycracies. 🙂

    And creative talent. You nailed this one. Thank you.

    Susan

  31. Between you, me and the Fencepost

    I hope you fired mean work room guy. Hey I agree about the mechanic thing. I think we get overcharged every once in a while but I know he's good and we bring all out cars to him so at the end of the day if I'm not happy I know he will take care of it because we are loyal and spend an arm an a leg at times to get our cars fixed . . .

  32. Wow, Maria, You and I are just alike! No wonder I like you so much. :o) Thanks for sharing more about you. I like that a lot. Blogging can seem so impersonal sometimes.

  33. This is such a great post. I love it more, because I too am a loner – always have been since I can remember. (I'm also a middle child and I wonder if you are too?)

    It's such a comfort to read your comment on groups of friends because that is something I have never been a part of – I've been invited in but I sort of close off, wanting to be somewhere else (preferably on my bicycle, with my thoughts, cycling around town).

    No one ever, really says these things out loud and so it's easy to feel that there must be something wrong with us – those of us who are loners. I wonder if this has something to do with why we tend to speak rather frankly – echoing our inner dialogue, perhaps?

    Thank you for that, post; it's reassuring to know that I'm in good company. (Oh, the irony…) x