Before I can even begin to talk about goals and accomplishments for 2012 there’s something (okay, two things) I need to say first. It’s something I seriously need to work on and here it is. I am mostly always anxious. Some people would say it’s because of my astrological sign. I am a Gemini and am always in my head analyzing everything. And I would say that is true. But whatever it is, it drives me crazy.
I’m always worried that I’m not working hard enough, fast enough, and smart enough to make my business grow faster and the worst part is I compare myself to other people (anyone else do this?)
For almost two years now I have been anxious and worried that my eBook was not written. I got emails weekly asking when it would be finished. Then when it was finally written, published and launched– last week right before Christmas, I was anxiety free for about one day.
And the next day, a new anxiety was born and that is, now that I’ve got it out there, will I sell enough books to make up the money I’ve put into it? I mean it was a bit naive of me to expect that the planet would beat a path to my door just because you and I think it’s great.
So here’s the bottom line. I was on the ski hill this weekend, reading a couple of tabloids my sister brought to the chalet and I started thinking about how as human beings, we always want to be better than we are right now, make more money next year than we did last year, etc, etc.
This is not news I know, stay with me:
Anyway, I started thinking about the celebrities since many of us follow and wonder what it must be like (maybe) and how if someone is a TV star, then they are probably cranky that they are not a MOVIE star. Then if they are a MOVIE star, they worry about being on the “A” list or about commanding 30 million instead of 10 million a picture. Then if you are on the “A” list, you worry about staying there. Then. . . well there’s always some other place to look if you want to drive yourself nuts.
And there’s always this theory “Do you want to live a happy life or an interesting life?”
Clearly if this interpretation is even remotely true then I choose an interesting life because #3 (you need to read the above link for this to make sense) definitely applies to me. I am totally focused on remaining an internationally known expert on colour and I drive everyone including myself nuts on analyzing what I should do next in my business.
So here’s the second thing. I am a loner and not good at small talk. I hate it that I sometimes look bored and make people feel like I’m not interested in them. That I have no patience in line-ups. That when I am on the phone with the credit card company and I have to punch in my number twice and then when I finally get a real person on the line and they ask for my number again I get mad. Why can’t I be nice instead of testy?
It’s why I’m self employed. I can’t handle the politics of pretending to like someone when I don’t. The good thing about being this way is that people always know where they stand with me but the bad part about that is that people always know where they stand with me.
Last night when I was in the hot tub with my sister and my two nephews and they decided splashing me was really fun but then my hair got wet and my head got cold in the below zero weather and I jumped out. When I walked back into the living room my brother-in-law said, “Oh, out so early?” and I said, “Well they’re splashing me now” and he added, “And you get annoyed easily.” I mean, do I have to be so honest? Can’t I just be polite and say something charming like, “I wanted to hang out with you instead?” No. Sigh. Sometimes my princess routine gets old.
So other years I’ve said it’s my “Year of Publicity’ or my “Year of Making Lots of Money.” This year is my “Year of being Likeable.”
Writing this scares me because I worry that you’ll be watching and I’ll screw up. But I really would like to be the charming one instead of the bossy, “don’t-mess-with-me” chick.
Being Likeable is way more interesting than just Happy.
Download my eBook, It’s All in the Undertones. If you have a computer, you can download my book!
If you would like your home to fill you with happiness every time you walk in, contact me.
To make sure the undertones in your home are right, get some large samples!
If you would like to learn to how choose the right colours for your home or for your clients, become a True Colour Expert.
Related posts:
Be patient with yoursef. Nobody is perfect – I know, you heard this before a million times, but still it’s true. Welcome the the club of humans!
As S. Covey says, “Self growth is tender; it’s holy ground”. When testiness happens, “cleaning up” right away may be the best bet. Appologize, say sorry, you know, the usual. Makes a huge difference. It is obvious you are likable, that is not the issue. It’s how you feel about your response that bothers you. So I think that’s why cleaning up could be a good first step. Anyhow, You rock, so just be patient with yourself and forgive yourself just like you would to for others. Oh dear, this is getting long, I better stop 🙂
Oh my, (((Maria)))—You are singing my song. And no, I’m not a Gemini. Perhaps worse, I’m a Sag, and Jupiter is about to go retrograde. It may be wise for y’all to keep your distance?
Still, there will always be the “so what have you done for me lately” camp. But you/we don’t have to succumb to that. I definitely subscribe to being more interesting. Must we always be aiming to exceed what’s already been done? At what or whom’s expense?
I say, live your life. Enjoy your family and your mate. Be gentle and respectful of the earth and each other.
You will continue to attract and attain that which you need to succeed and survive, so let others batter themselves against a flame, a light that never goes out. It will always be there, but will you?
Colour yourself happy & glorious because you are.
xoxo…
Wow….I’ve been reading your blog religiously for a while now, and although I typically find your posts more useful than most blogs I read, I have to say this is the best one by far, and there’s not even a mention of color in it!
You and I are alike. I hate small talk too. That’s why I’m selective with my friends, because if I had to talk about mundane topics with them to pass the time, it probably wouldn’t be a long friendship. I’m probably not as easy to annoy as you, but I’m up there as well. I’m also a gemini, so perhaps that’s it 🙂
Anyway, suffice to say, not that my opinion means much, but I feel compelled to share that I think you’re amazing, and you clearly work very hard at what you do. Cut yourself some slack. You’re doing an awesome job.
Happy new year. I hope it brings you all that you could possible hope for, and if you want to get over that struggle with anxiety, consider a meditation practice (or yoga). There’s enough scientific evidence out there that I don’t even have to try to sell the benefits of it anymore.
Good luck to you!
Maria,
I like the honesty of your post. I’m also a Gemini…woohoo for team Gemini! Okay now that I’ve gotten that out of my system I have to say that your Sun in Gemini is only one of many aspects that make up the natal chart that turns out to be you. While you persue this “quest” this year I’d like you to consider something…those people who are truely interesting, successful, and self-fulfilled are those people who truely enjoy what they do. Otherwise, I don’t think they’d be able to keep trying through all the failures. Maybe the key here for you is to try to find something that piques your interest about other people..if you are curious about them it becomes less about you and the burden of conversation shifts to them as they answer your questions. Summed up I guess it goes…” To be interesting you have to be interested.” Good luck. Find folks with undertones who compliment your own…then work from there.
WOW! I didn’t know I could also get an astrological reading here Maria!
Ok so you’re all those things. Good news is, you’re smart enough to recognize them and understand what makes you the Color Me Happy Maria or the Unhappy Maria in the hot tub! Either way, I’m the Leo who will always ride with ya on the bus.
Be Happy.
xo Lisa
you are not alone! i came home from my family christmas feeling like a mean person. i have a habit of letting people bug me to the point i explode. then i say things i wish i could take back. my new years resolution is to be more tolerate of others! Great post full of honesty!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and you always seem so very likable and cheery and I aspire to have the confidence that you seem to have…so I’m very surprised to read that you’re a lot like me (and I’m a fellow gemini). I tend to be pretty quiet because I’m always in my head analyzing everything. I’d like to build more real relationships with people, both professionally and making new friends but I feel like people are boring or don’t understand me. lol, I guess I’m difficult. I think it’s great that you wrote this and that maybe I should try to be more “likable” too…but without feeling fake.
Good luck to you! Happy New Year!
Thanks for being real!!
Something I’ve liked to hear thinking about this kind of stuff: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” –Dr. Suess
*Seuss
maria, i have some similar symptoms that you describe, and between us, it’s ok. Actually, as far as niceties go I find it’s easier for me to be kind to strangers. The grocery checker, waitress, others that have to put up with a lot of people crap — I try to be nice to them because they deserve it and it actually does help me to extend my nicenes to others I know. No one is perfect but think about how your energy is spent and what is important.
I find you very likable!! And I suffer so from playing the comparison game. I wish I could stop that. On one hand, I suppose it is motivating … but on the other, I think it just makes you/me miserable. xoxo!
Promise I’ll call this week to catch up. My monkeys are back to school on Tuesday!
Well, I’m a Gemini Rising, and I’m always charming lol. Actually, it’s less likely to do with the fact that you’re a Gemini and more likely dependent on other factors in your astrological chart in combination. I’ve seen some really highly strung leos, and they’re usually the epitome of royalty with a common touch 😉 But with a Uranian or Mercurial aspect to the sun or moon… well, then you can have “high strung” on your hands. Since I have a tendency towards cynical humor and witty insightfulness that doesn’t always make everyone smile, I know how you feel, so I’m sharing the best advice I ever got and when I follow it, I feel SO much better about myself. That advice: When irritated/annoyed/bothered/etc., COUNT TO TEN AND THEN SAY NOTHING. Works every time to keep me out of trouble Then, I go for a long walk or take a bubble bath, and put things in perspective. I think that you are a perfectionist and have amazing insight, and that’s why we all love reading your blog, but those same things can sometimes make personal interaction more difficult, so maybe my advice will work for you, too. And by the way, Jupiter just went direct on December 25, and without looking at your chart, I couldn’t possibly say how this affects you but in most cases Jupiter retrograde would not impact an overall personality.
“Find folks with undertones who compliment your own…then work from there.”
Love this!! lol
You keep writing, we’ll keep reading.
Best of New Years to you, Maria!
What a beautiful, heartfelt post.
You are plenty likeable but I understand that you have to feel it for yourself and it’s not enough if I, we, tell you that you are. Just know that we think you are. 🙂
Maria!
Amazing and honest post M….I thought it was eye opening! I’m a Gemini too and read so much of myself in what you were saying….crazy!
I think you’re very “likable” and I hope to see you in LA in February!!!!
Happy New Year!
Jenn
Every day I read your blog, sometimes you’re likeable, sometimes what you say is not. Does that make you a bad person? Absolutely not. We are what we are. Being less grouchy to the grocery store clerk is a good goal. But don’t lose yourself in trying to be something you’re not in your heart.
And I want to lead an interesting but happy life. Took the little test on Penelope’s blog and I’m neutral – both interesting and happy – I think that probably makes me boring. Something you will never be!!
You are singin’ my song sweetie…..your honesty just helped me bigtime….just knowing i’m not the only gemini who struggles w/this. anyhoo, i’ll be striving right along w/you to breathe slower and relax/smile/enjoy my life a little more too. Luv you blog. OH, HEATHER, would luv to know more about ‘the little test’ on Penelope’s blog…thanks.
hugs from a loyal reader and warm regards,
Lesa
I think a lot of entrepreneurs feel that combination of focus and anxiety with their work. Have you heard of Danielle Laporte? She has wonderful insights about this sort of thing on her blog http://whitehottruth.com/. Happy New Year and best wishes 🙂
Did you know that Dale Carnegie wrote more books than just How to Win Friends? Another of his is worth the read, and you can probably find it free online. I think I did. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Stop_Worrying_and_Start_Living
It is incredibly practical, and addresses your resolution.
A very honest, heartfelt post Maria. Anxiety can be very debilitating. You are fortunate that you recognize that you have some issues with anxiety. I had to seek help from a psychologist who greatly helped me (and my eldest Gemini daughter) with coping strategies for anxiety. Also, recognizing personality traits in yourself that you are sometimes less than happy with, is huge! I live by the mantra, now, that ‘you get back what you give’… Not always easy, but if you enjoy someone else’s work… Let them know….it will take NOTHING from you, but will actually give you a fabulous feeling in return. Istead of comparing, celebrate what you have achieved. In this world, there is always someone (WHO WE THINK) who is doing it better than we are. It is time to also realize that we should really strive to LIKE ourselves, which used to sound self centred to me, but is, the opposite of self centeredness. It took me an entire decade..from my mid-40’s to 54 yrs to figure this out. I am totally cool with myself….. NOW!
‘Cheers’ to you Maria…. And may all your dreams and wishes for 2012 come true!
Maria, speaking as a person whose life is definitely interesting and not always in a good way, I can identify with you. 🙂 I like to follow this philosophy: Treat everyone you meet as if they have a sign around their neck, saying “Make me feel important.” And sometimes that is very hard to do. Thanks for all the great blogs and all the best in ’12.
Maria,Maria,Maria Please stay true to who you are, if you try to”be more likable” your creative juices will be sucked dry by watching everything you say and do, embrace the anxiety, without it, you would probably be complacent and not going to the next level in your business, true happiness in life comes from within, its accepting,forgiving yourself of flaws, knowing your a good person, even f you mess up sometimes,if I had to make a resolution for myself, it would be getting my b**ch back,I drive myself crazy trying to please everyone,make sure everyone had a perfect holiday, etc. etc. I think popeye had it right, I y’am what I y’am!
…i am fairly certain that EVERYONE can relate to your post on some level…I know I can. Once upon a time, when I was struggling with something, someone said to me….”Somehow this behavior or habit has served you…but maybe you do not need it anymore.” Maybe your ambitious, and as you describe it, prickly nature, protected you on your rise up, kept you focused and defensive in the good sense…to get where you are. But maybe, I wonder, based on your words, if you are ready to shed some of the protective skin and soften up a bit..and it sounds like, maybe now…that you can . Enjoy the ride now, you are there, have a bit of faith in not only yourself but us…that WE will not let you down by disappearing, if we see the real you! The more REAL you are the more WE feel better!
Maria, it is very freeing to the rest of us when someone like yourself takes a risk and exposes her vulnerabilities -it takes courage to part those veils. It is the rare individual who will do this as I have noticed over the years. So it is a great strength to draw upon. Thank-you for sharing this part of yourself.
A favorite quote which for me addresses the unwanted thoughts such as comparisons and over-analysis which we can’t seem to turn off comes from the 16th century of all things- by Teresa of Avila, who said “the important thing is not to Think much but to Love much…and to so do that which best stirs us to love”. I have these wise words posted on my desk as a reminder to me when I go down that road of unproductive anxiety. It always resets my compass..
Peace in 2012 Maria!
I agree with all of the above posters, and I can relate to a constant low-level of anxiety about pretty much everything (I’m Capricorn).
I do have one practical suggestion regarding outdoor hot tubs in the winter: in a word (or two): shower cap. Honestly, I might look silly, but I have a lot less hair anxiety in our hot tub since I started to wear one. The steam doesn’t wreck my ‘do. Bonus: my head stays warm too. Win win.
Hi Maria
I totally empathize with you, as do many of your other readers. I started my business just over a year ago and always feel I have to be in control and wonder what I could be doing to make it better. Over analyzing is my thing too, I saw a psychic earlier this year (which I have never done before) and she asked me why I anazlyze so much? – I didn’t need to tell her, she already knew. She said I am very creative and need to stop questioning everything. I saw Larry Laslo speak this year and he talked a lot about conviction and it really struck a cord with me -Even though I still question things! lol
I love your honesty, I started blogging 6 months ago and you were a huge inspiration for that – and continue to be. You are who you are, you are very likeable and people connect with you so try not to be so hard on yourself! – I will try to take my own advice as well!
Just forgive yourself for being grumpy, we all are….. People who are nice all the time, are often a bit dull too. Celebrate your crankyness, it makes you interesting.
Maria, Thank you for being so honest and sharing your feelings with us! Admitting to yourself that you are not perfect and then following through on that are the first steps. You are also on the right track by reminding yourself that there is always someone that is thinner, or has a better wardrobe or has a more popular blog or has more money, etc. Being sincere and truly caring about others will help. Don’t fake it with your sincerity. Also, I really enjoy Leo Babuta’s blog Zen Habits. It reminds me to take a deep breath and to remember what is REALLY important in our lives. I really enjoy following you on your blog and now I love it even more! Rock on sistah and smile more often!
Maria,
I followed your connection on the “interesting or happy theory” and found myself immersed in the original blogger’s real life situation. Of course, your style is unique but the underlying tones of your real life are even more intriguing. Thank you for sharing your life along with your talent. I hope you have a good year.
It is a fact, that likeability is important in this business. Unless you are perfect or a magician and can make everything so perfect for your clients every time that they will like/pay you no matter what, learning to be tolerant and likeable is a must. Everyone in sales of any kind (and we’re all salesmen aren’t we?) knows likeability is key. I’ve found that my most of my clients want me to be their best friend (for the time I’m working on their project anyway). This is a very personal business, we’re in their homes dealing with all kinds of intimate information about them. If they don’t like us, they won’t share information that will help us render a successful endeavor. This is a good acknowledgement of a key component of success. Good luck with your new year!
Hi Maria. You have helped me with putting my life back together and you don’t even know it. Just going out and doing what you do every day, creating something out of what the universe has to offer, being yourself – it has reinforced the idea that we can do whatever we set our mind to and this has gotten me going again. So, for all that you have given me, please let me pass on to you my favourite Dr. Wayne Dyer quote: ” You cannot give away what you do not have”. He was talking about love and how we need to love ourselves before we can learn to give love to others. So, cut yourself some slack, learn to be more happy doing what you are doing and take enjoyment in that, discover more things that you like about yourself as opposed to what you don’t like and then I bet you will find more contentment. Happy New Year!
Maria,
Thank you for your honesty. We have all been there at some point. I have to tell you that my husband and I have found the answer. Acknowledge that you can’t do it….anything. Every gift that we have came from The Lord and He is the one who opens doors that no man can shut; who has the plan for our lives and who gives us the strength to shut up when we want to scream. Trust, rest,rely and lean on Him and do what He leads you to do TODAY. It will amaze you how tomorrow will take care of itself.
I think you are awesome. 🙂
Hello, My name is Roberta and I am a loner too:)
Ha, I can so relate. Thanks for being so organically honest here Maria. Great post! Love your work and by the way, you are likable but I know what you mean…xo Happy, Likable and Interesting 2012!
great post Maria, very authentic! I love the last photo of three women in the hot tub in the mountains – I want to go there!
Ouch.. I think we are sisters separated at birth. I hate small talk, was happiest when I worked from home, compare myself to the point of making myself sick. Oh my. But I can say this, with age, you get better, are less critical, tend to speak out more, so I know it will come. So heartwarming to read the real you.. Hope all your dreams come true. xo marlis
I’m just a faithful reader, but I too like you, and I don’t like all that many people. Everyone posted such great advice, but I must comment on the splashing episode. Seriously? We don’t allow face splashing and we’re in Texas with 100 degree summers. It’s just not nice, sister! So our babies and grandbabies are taught from the get-go: no splashing. And the brother-in-law comment? Wow, was that nice? And then it’s you who comes away feeling you did something wrong. That’s mixed up. You’re just fine. You just be you – we like you.
Do you see how many people appreciate you just for being you!! Yes, there is always room for growth, but sometimes it is ok to just shine at being you. This last year was spent on learning that being nice is not loving and that I have all that I need. I needed to quit searching out side of my head for more. It was a tough lesson and I am sure it will continue to be, but oh so freeing. The second was being thankful . A great book was one thousand gifts. being intentionally thankful for each blessing we see ever day.
Blessings to you in 2012!!
Hi Maria, Thanks so much for your blog and newsletters. This was an interesting post. Everyone is not the same! It is OK for you to be who you are. Check out the self test for Highly Sensitive People. There is a link on http://www.hsperson.com. It made me feel better about myself and understand people who don’t care about things as much as I do! By the way, my kitchen remodel starts this week and I am putting in a white kitchen after finding your blog this summer. Thanks!
You’re hitting on one of the hardest things, particularly for women: where’s the balance between being warm/kind and being authentic? Sometimes it feels like a loving nature makes you happier but being true to your own feelings is more satisfying.
On a separate note, have you seen the U.S. HGTV dream home? Very much your color palette in the main rooms!
Hi Maria,
What a great honest post. I do like you just the way you are! I have always been way too concerned about being liked, so I could use some of what you have! You inspire me by being the way you are.
I have also had a lot of anxiety – this past year especially. But since I devoted myself to the study of A Course In Miracles again, I have been able to find peace. Whenever I get anxious, I just remind myself that all is well and everything will work out. I may have to say that a hundred times a day some days, but I’m getting more and more convinced of it now!
Love,
Lea
Oh Maria! That’s just the artist and perfectionist in you and it’s perfectly normal. I feel the same way you do. I work for myself because I get annoyed very easily and I have worked my entire life to get where I am today. No one can compete with that experience!! I’m also a New Yorker so I don’t beat around the bush – I have very high standards and a take it or leave it approach and although I am professional, I don’t worry if I wasn’t gentle enough.
As far as your projects – do what YOU love and what makes YOU happy and that’s what you’re doing and we love it! Continue to be yourself, honest, playful, silly yet very talented. I don’t always agree with your color advice (you know I’m taking about the white kitchens 🙂 but your blog is the only one I visit on a daily basis. The others I really can do without and I don’t really care either because they are just so fake and boring.
Have a happy new year and 2012 will be awesome for you!!!!
Donna
XOXO
Reading this post reminded me of a great book I read this past year. I think you will love it. Enjoy being true to yourself this year!
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Just-Nature-Carol-Tuttle/dp/0978543696/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325536918&sr=8-1
Don’t worry about it. Reading this sounds like you are describing me. There’s nothing wrong with getting annoyed. Just how you deal with it when it happens. And for people like us, there is always another opportunity to learn patience. 😉
it’s always so fascinating when we speak of our true feelings without any reservation, how much better we feel! I guess a blog can be therapy, ask Penelope Trunk, she’s gets over 400 replays when things are not going well in the marriage, and she needs some advice. I’m telling you – ask and you shall receive – asking is the hardest part.
Are you doing Yoga?
Maria, you have heard that “‘Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things.
Small people talk about other people.” I have no patience with small people. You are great people because you are creative and always thinking about ideas to do it better, differently, your way. Great people approach life in a different vein but I think that gives them less tolerance for the drudgery of dealing with small people. (I also think that most people live mostly in one category but sometimes dip into others.) I said all that to say that anxiety is inherent in most great people. There is never enough time to accomplish all the ideas that have been sprung out of that fertile brain. It makes you want to do more, do better and people need to help or get out of the way. Just who you are here and personally, I like that about you. I also like that you are honest with us as your audience. It gives you more credibility and that, great person, is much more important than almost any other trait… except kindness. Kindness matters.
Maria, I have never met you IRL, but I find you very likeable on your blog! So I’m sure you are as likeable IRL as you are on your blog 😉 You have a knack for talking about subjects on your blog that I am thinking about and/or probably too ‘scared’ to talk about on my own blog. From someone who is always thinking very similiar things when it comes to my decorating business or my blog you’ve been a tremendous help!! So thank you!! And happy new year — I’m positive you will have another great year!! And congrats on the e-book!!
Christine
Maria,
You are amazingly open and real. My advise is to not follow astrology, or Dale Carnegie, he committed suicide. Follow this instead and I promise it will comfort your heart and encourage your self worth.
Phillipians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Thank you for your openness and honesty! I tuned in to get my fix of color theory or pink walls and was just floored by your post today. “Color me Likeable” just doesn’t have the same ring! You inspire and encourage us to pick colors and things we love, colors that make us happy, not just follow the current trend (i.e. likeable.) I hope that your new year is everything that you hope – thanks for all that you do to encourage us to make our lives happier through color.
Thank you for being so honest, Maria. I could’ve written the same post. In fact, I’ve been thinking about becoming self-employed for the very same reasons you mentioned. I think I’ll add “being more likeable” to my 2012 list as well.
I was just reading your e-book before I started browsing my google reader. I had to put your book “down” because it’s so packed with great information that I need to let it absorb before I continue. I so appreciate your advice on color since it’s been an area that I struggle with.
Your post doesn’t surprise me for one moment! I think most of us out there are so scared to screw up or mess up or even show others who we really are. I say just be who you are and change only what you want to change and in the end you will find peace. If we mess up, it just means trying again tomrorow.. Thanks for your honesty.. for most it scares people on blogs. 🙂
Happy New Year.
Thank you, Maria, for another helpful post, which is just one of the reasons you are so likeable! A few other reasons you are so likeable are because you truly are intelligent about COLOUR and you teach and write well. You write about things we care about, and that connects us. Now, about that sister and those nephews….SPLASHING?…they know how to have some fun!
Oh no, please don’t try to be likeable. Then you will be worried about pleasing other people and probably neglect being who you are. What is wrong with not wanting your hair wet and cold in below freezing weather and being honest about it?
You have done the Forum, right? There is nothing wrong. How about creating the possibility of being happy with a very interesting life?
We out here love you, find you interesting, would rather jump right into the interesting, deep talk ourselves, and would rather be in by the warm fire than in a hot tub with cold, wet hair.
Looking forward to more of you in 2012.
Hi Maria!
I have the sign of the Cross.
With that said…I’m not one for small talk either, often times over analyse etc.!
I so enjoy direct, creative, and informed conversation!
It’s just the way I was created, however, I have a daughter who thrives on small talk with her Peeps..and that’s totally fine as I’ve observed she was made to enjoy such things!
For me, I would have found being splashed with water in a hot tub rather irritating and rude too…even with the best of my loved ones!
Please ease up on yourself. You’re so gifted in so many areas others are not.
I for one, have learned so much from you in the past year or so with your posts.
You see, the study of color and decorating my abode has been so very challenging to me through-out life, where with you it’s like 2ND nature!!!
I so admire you!
Ease up on yourself…look to the skies…smile…..and thank-God that you are who you are!!!
Happy New Year Girl!!!
Maria; thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. We are all spirits on a life journey. It is good to know that all of us who so look up to you as a color expert, can now see your beautiful imperfectly perfect side! Thank you for all you share. I purchased your e-book and am loving it. Namaste, Cynthia
I just sent you an email.
Maria, we all expect sooo much of ourselves, truly I believe this is almost universal. I want 2012 to be the year of peace, calm, strength and making others lives a bit brighter.
A very Happy New Years to you and yours!
Please come and enter my Giveaway from Serena & Lily.
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
I think being honest is incredibly important – don’t try to change who you are! Congrats on all your successes in 2011, don’t forget to enjoy 2012 and stop being so hard on yourself.
Laura
Okay – here are my two cents’ worth – Exercising respect on a regular basis is a no-brainer. Boundaries are important and enable all of us to do as little harm as possible. However…..that’s as far as it needs to go. Pleasing others is exhausting and leaves little room for creativity. So beware. I’m also careful about with whom I share my time. I love conversation but it had better have some meat in the bone. Small talk for me, just represents time I’ll never get back. Give me someone like you any day, Maria. .
You said you are often anxious. I once read somewhere that worrying is like ‘praying for what you DON’T want to happen.’ Does that help? I hope so.
p.s. I pretty much never worry about anything, and I have 3 kids and a husband who’s a cop. It works for me!
God Bless You Maria, you always bring a smile ~ Best Wishes Always.
Too funny, Maria – I just referenced your blog as one of my must-reads on my own blog, sanantoniomurals.blogspot.com. I said you were “cute and perky” and that I love your enthusiasm for sharing and for helping others. In your writing, your true likeability comes through loud and clear!
Thank you, again, for sharing so candidly and for relating to us on a very real and personal level. I’ve felt everything you’ve talked about, and I struggle with likeability also. Well, I’m liked well enough, and certainly admired for my work, but maybe what’s so elusive is that “easy popularity” that I see around me, when laughing women gather for lunch to chit-chat about their families and their neighbors… I too want lots of girlfriends to chit-chat with, but my tendency to talk about deeper topics seems to limit my choices of friends! Sigh…
Thanks for being a “kindred spirit” whose success inspires all of us!
With a hug and a smile,
Lisa
Hi Maria,
How brave to tell the world your vulnerabilities. I love your honesty. Alot of my friends are Geminis (I am Scorprio – the nasty one) and they are all anxious control-freaks and I love them exactly the way they are. Oh and yes you are definitely an ‘internationally renowned colour expert’ – I live in Australia!
Just be you and have a fantastic 2012!
Happy New Year, Maria.
Some of those quirks you mention do show through in your writing. Those of us who are regular (or devoted) readers will see your determination, insistance and passion. Your personal drive, your goals and business strategy are unfolding through your blog as we read. They are very visible. Your single-mindedness. The certainty of your opinions.
But does this make you un-likeable? No. I have become fond of you and your style and greatly appreciative of your generous teaching.
Love those quirks – they do in fact make YOU interesting.
A couple of commenters mentioned Penelope. I have not read her happy/interesting post but I was also thinking of her as I read your brilliant post today. I have close family members on the spectrum and those are some of the wonderful traits they have too.
Be kind to yourself.
cherill w
adelaide, SA
Happy New Year Maria! Although I’ve been reading your blog for over two and a half years now, I’ve never left a comment. I couldn’t resist on this post (well-written as always).
I too am a Gemini who analyzes everything, compares myself/abilities to others, and always feels that I need to be productive. As life would have it though, the past two years have brought many personal challenges and forced me to slow down. Not such a bad thing (at least for a little while).
I’m back on track now and the whole need-to-produce thing has pushed me to finally start writing my own blog. I am loving it!
Best wishes on the Happiest of New Years, congrats on your new e-book, and don’t forget to be kind to yourself.
P.S. – According to Penelope’s test, I’m suspiciously well-balanced. A good place to be … I think.
hi maria,
i think everyone has some anxiety, in varying degrees. but for me, the most important thing has been learning to be OK with myself and my quirky traits as they are. i am not patient, i am very competitive, i obsess over things to minute detail, i often return items i have bought, i can’t stand chitchat sometimes. but i have learned to let it go. i am who i am. and that’s ok. being different is what makes the world go around. if we were all perfect Barbies, the world would just be boring. keep rocking on, you’ve got lots of people in the stratosphere who admire your work. you inspire us all!
Love it! You are the coolest Maria!
I just have a comment on issue of perpetually needing to analyze,,,,.analytical = judgmental. Judgment creates anxiety, dissatisfaction, hostility. There is so much peace to be found in this little phrase: it is what it is.
Of course the same quality, being analytical, is also an asset in a million ways….it just has to be kept in check and consciously balanced. I speak from experience.
Thanks to you and all commenters for sharing your hearts.
Hi
You will probably always be a bit anxious..
Try changing one thing at a time….
DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF…it’s a killer and a bit egocentric…(i know I do it)
Gratitude is the name of the game. The most important of all virtues and parent of the rest..
I try not to take anything personally, do the best I can and of course the killer….do not make assumptions…
You are not a loner… you are self contained. I have the same problem. I would rather be alone than deal with the noisy people, you know who they are… So just settle into your skin, and be at peace with your inner self.
“I can’t handle the politics of pretending to like someone when I don’t. The good thing about being this way is that people always know where they stand with me but the bad part about that is that people always know where they stand with me.”
—do you realize how saying this is such a typical Gemini thing?
Don’t worry, you don’t want to be phony. Those charmers who charm everyone are often phony and pretty easy to see through once you know them a bit more. I remember a very funny Bob Newhart episode about that way back when.